So you think:
Sexually abused people are more apt to be sexual abusers.
Dolphins are basically benevolent creatures inclined to be helpful to humans at risk of being drowned since someone you read about or heard about on the 'news' was assisted to shore by a dolphin.
Humans are abducted by aliens and traumatized or studied or, you fill in the blank.
Some event that happened earlier in your life is clearly remembered in nearly all the detail.
Well, welcome aboard the fruit loop trolley to twisted thinking and logic.
Some people who think that because something cannot be disproved - it is true.
Some people think they have clear memories in detail of events that occurred much earlier
For instance:
If it cannot be proved that leaving Iraq after the election will result in a collapse of Iraq, it must be true that it will not collapse.
or
If it cannot be proved that leaving Iraq after the election will allow terrorism to expand, it must be true that it will not expand.
If I decline to agree with you, I must be disagreeing with you.
If I am not 'with' you, I am 'against' you.
My point is that we cannot presume to draw one conclusion without confirmation of the clearly opposite possibility as the ONLY other possibility.
How many times have you been placed in the position of someone saying something similar to this?
"If I don't hear from you about this then I will presume you to; agree, meet me, take care of it, you fill in the blank," and you had some other option in mind.
I would like to propose that we all step back. Let's look at things like assumptions of what is, isn't or what might be with an eye to seeing beyond what our mind is most comfortable with and may be limiting us to as additional possibilities.
I get disgusted when someone says to me in effect; "If you don't agree with me then you must disagree with me." "If you do not see it my way then you are wrong."
Places this occurs all too frequently: religion, politics, health decisions, child raising, family discussions, sports events, and blogs.
Oh yeah, only 30% of abusers become abusers.
We have no statistics on dolphins that assisted humans further out to sea.
There is absolutely no proof of aliens.
and (drum roll, please)
If you cannot remember all of the details of an event in your past, your mind will make up some and fill in the blanks to please you, unless you are ready willing and able to be in charge of you - even then it is a struggle at first.
I have been reading a book recommended to me: "Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) Tavris and Aronson.
It has cleared a lot of my anxiety about memory and what I can and cannot recall.
Well, if you have read this far,
The taxicab fare for this trip is paid...
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Who will be the best next President?
We should ask the best players of Fantasy Football (Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, etc.). What? That is a stupid assertion if I ever heard one!
Well stop and think now. Is the whole Executive Branch going to be just one person, the President? Heck no.
Now if you want to win in Fantasy Games you want the best players (Dick Chenney?), don’t you? You want the best TEAM, as well as the best plays for them to execute.
You can talk up all the best plays for possible execution. But, who are you going to assign to execute the plays?
Don’t both go together? Doesn’t the knowledge of both Players and Plays lead to better team selection?
And, once you know the composition of the team and plays you may even be able to know who will be the winning Fantasy Person.
So let’s require political candidates, especially in the debates, to disclose both plays and players.
Right now it looks like the Teams in this League are:
1. Chicago
2. New York
3. Arizona
Guess which teams have been in power before? They all have!
Who did they use for their team, and how did they play the game?
Guess which communities get more goodies when their home team wins?
Guess which home team will take care of your community (the one that does not even have a team in the race)?
It is not the issues we should be thinking about, it is our own home team that is important.
Otherwise, you are on a losing team. That is not fun, is it?
Why is it that these questons are not forced on the candiates?
What more can be asked?
One theory of communication is that there are four key components involved.
Once one understands these components it becomes much easier to really have a two-way interaction without some of the misunderstanding that normally occurs. It makes it easier to see who are liars and cheats. And when one responds with integrity and transparency all interactions can be positive and rewarding.
The Components Are:
1. Requests:
When one wants something from another they might say "will you give me $10"?
For many requestors this can be much more difficult than expected. You need to show your possible vulnerabilities to the other(s). And if they are not trustworthy you need to be sufficiently autonomous that you can move on without them and still be secure.
A Request might be, “do you think you would like to go eat at Barbara’s Fish Trap sometime”?
Was the Requestor above asking to go to the restaurant right now, sometime in the future, an opinion of the quality of the restaurant, or to go there instead of another restaurant?
The more authoritarian, competitive, emotionally strained or hostile the relationship the less clear requests become. This will result in the lack of clarity as to what will constitute satisfactory performance by the person receiving the request as well as possible disappointment for the Requestor.
2. Promises:
When one agrees to fulfill a Request they could say “Yes”. But, unless they immediately hand over the $10 the promise is not yet complete.
And some receivers of Requests will be vague because they don’t want to openly say “No”. Or, they are considering what action they want to take in response to the request. As when they may be thinking, “I need the $10 for myself now, later I can go to the bank and get his/her $10”.
The Request Receiver may propose a Counter Offer (proposed amendment to the Request, not a completed Promise) such as, “Yes, but I will have to get it from my spouse first”. Now the possibility is conditional upon another person’s response to a new request.
Many requestors will treat a vague, seemingly neutral, to positive, response as if a promise has been made.
Cheaters will try to turn this into an enforceable promise.
Others sometimes try to imply that time limits do not apply, and in fact require performance into the unforeseen future based on an unspoken assent to deliver.
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